General, Movies, Social Media

Penniless Princess Paris Visits India

Paris Hilton. I love her. The world loves her. Tinkerbell loves her too (in case you’re wondering who that is; no, that’s not her latest boyfriend, but her ‘accessory dog’). We completely understand Tinkerbell’s predicament – must be cursing herself for having done some misdeed in her past life, thus, having born as Tinkerbell this life, having to live as an ‘accessory’ dog of Paris. 😦

We love Paris. She is probably the only person on earth – who is famous for ‘being famous’ for all the wrong reasons one can think of. She appeared in an extraordinary self-starring motion picture (read ‘personal tape’ here), banned from top hotels worldwide (here and here and the list is too long…), even banned from a few countries as well, multiple felonies related to cocaine possession (apparently, “she mistook cocaine for gum”), and finally getting stripped from the Hilton legacy by the Baron himself. Must have been so painful for the old man seeing his great-granddaughter being the joke of the town when he had worked so hard himself to make it big! So virtually a penniless princess, Paris has to do something to earn a living. She tried singing, acting, reality shows, virtual talk shows, clothing line collectionpet line design wear and so on (sorry, forgot to mention – all self-produced). Unfortunately, none worked out. Her ‘personal tape’ was in fact a big hit worldwide, maybe, she could release it with subtitles and in Blue Ray disc format and earn royalties from it. A sound business plan with good chances of ROI. Is it not? Unfortunately that too – went down the drain – as Paris declared that all earnings from her tape would go for charity. Last time I checked out – the tape was so bad, the charity was penniless as well. 🙂

Let us leave all that behind, since Paris is now in good hands – NO! She ain’t getting married. All her boyfriends seem to dump her sooner or later. Which is pretty bad in a way! She is now in search of ‘moksha‘ (in English, it would mean – liberation from materialistic things and all that crap) in the mystical land, India and to launch her fashion accessories (bags). What contrary views! Well, don’t think we all hate her down here. In fact, she has quite a few followers and die-hard fans here. So besides meeting a lot of models (read ‘aspiring models’ here), actors & actresses (read ‘flop ones’ or those who couldn’t make it big, or those who are so jobless, need some media bytes really bad), not sure in what way exactly Paris will seek her ‘moksha’. Hmmmmm… I can suggest one thing personally. She can meet someone called Rakhi Sawant – the latter being an extremely talented media person in India, and famous for her jhatkas-and-matkas (sorry, read that as ‘item numbers in movies’ and ‘trash talk’), and am sure they would hit off as best friends soon!

Also, another recommendation can be meeting Baba Ramdev. Besides gaining insight into Hindu philosophy from Baba, Paris can also opt for his ‘higher-end tuition classes’ for the rich & famous. Baba can teach her some special asanas (in English it means ‘poses whilst doing Yoga’), in case Paris wishes to embark on another ‘personal tape’ of her own in the foreseeable future. In such a case, a few oriental touches are extremely important in this current age of globalization. Check out the proposed ‘super fast’ yogas from Baba. Personally, I love the ‘Dollarasana‘ very much. For Paris, I would strongly recommend mastering the ‘Media Asana‘ – will come in handy for her whilst giving her countless interviews worldwide. Paris, also check out whether he has some ‘Tape Asana‘ for special usage whilst creating ‘personal tapes’ etc. You know what I mean, Paris, right? Finally, she ought to meet our famous Swami Nithyananda who, unfortunately, got famous owing to same reasons as Paris herself. They can co-produce, co-direct and even co-act in the next version of the tape.

What a loss it was for Paris fans when her much hyped appearance in ‘Koffee with Karan‘ unfortunately got cancelled cause her agent said – no personal questions and ‘personal tape’ related questions and no questions on drug-abuse, arrests, repeated arrests, pending cases etc. The poor host and producer of the show cancelled the show saying – “Damn! What the f**k are we supposed to ask her? Those are the things she’s famous for!” Completely understand them. My heart goes out to them. Such a nice opportunity of getting a good TRP gone begging! Now, you don’t start crying. You have for all the searches you can do, and read from there. Karan wouldn’t have got any special info out of her, that we already don’t know or seen already. So relax!

Anyways, Paris, if you’re reading this – Am not sure, you technically know what a blog is. 😦 Last time I checked out, she confused ‘London’ was not in the U.K. or maybe U.K. and London were two separate countries… hmmm… can’t say. Too much coke makes you brain dead, I guess. Anyways, if you’re reading this – don’t forget to meet Rakhi Sawant – she may have some genuine piece of business advice for you, Baba Ramdev for the special asanas in case you need some exotic touch to your next ‘personal tape’ and of course, Swami N for maybe a joint production someday soon. Paris, we’re keeping our fingers crossed.

Btw, our capital is not Mumbai, it is a city called Delhi!  Hang on! I said ‘Delhi‘ – that’s a city. ‘Idli‘ – that’s food in South India – so don’t confuse between them, right?

Au revoir!

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